The Great Bang Debacle

It's been over a week since my horrible haircut.  Luckily, my bangs are slowly growing out.  As you may recall, I finally succumbed to my fear of hairstylists only to have my worst nightmare come true.  I asked for Katie Holmes bangs...

... and got "Dorothy Hamill as interpreted by a 4-year-old" bangs instead.  Boo.

But I guess a little levity when dealing with the tremendous horror of an awful haircut is all you can do to get through the experience.  So I am grateful for one of my piano students, "D," who looked at my hair this weekend (when he should have been playing a song) and told me that if I put my hair back in a ponytail (it's way too short to do), my hair would look great and "all the boys would go 'HOLLA' (imagine a little 8-year-old doing a dance move with his arms)!"

Funny - but I ain't no Holla Back Girl. 

Low-Toxic Product of the Week No. 2

It was a long day for Elsa.  

First, there was the flower arranging.

Then studying in the library.

It's no wonder she couldn't keep her eyes open to recommend the 2nd low-toxic beauty product, (generic) Cetaphil Gentle Skin Cleanser.   

Scores a "2" on the cosmetics database.  Shown is the Target version, but practically every drugstore has its own generic version of the Cetaphil original with identical ingredients.

The generic version rates a "3" on my "1 to 10" scale of cheap to expensive.  

This is a great versatile product that can be used as a face wash and/or body wash.  Check out some lox-toxic essential oils that you could probably add to the cleanser for a scented effect.

And without hope for an economic bailout, it's a savvy way to save money and save face (ha, ha).

I'm planning a side-blog to discuss my coupon mania and report on wild and crazy grocery deals.  I'm obsessed with saving at the supermarket.  Stay tuned.

The Hills Rewind Vol. 1

I'm launching another new feature to my blog: a weekly recap of my favorite guilty pleasure, The Hills.

So, should you date your friend's ex?  The short answer is "no."  But in all Hills quandaries, one must ask, "What would Whitney do?"  She most certainly would not date Doug.  Now, mind you, I'm relatively certain that the beautiful Whitney doesn't need to pick up her friends' sloppy seconds (in the words of Audrina), while the hot mess Stephanie probably does need to take what she can get.  However, that's no excuse for violating the code.  I'm starting to see the wisdom of Brody ~ that Stephanie Pratt is crazy and cannot be trusted.  And, seriously, what's with her even asking out loud whether Lauren would find out?  Of course she would find out ~ it's an f'ing television show!  She's clearly trying to dredge up drama for herself because she has an otherwise pathetic, uneventful life.  And what about Doug asking her what she's doing after this ("this" being their dinner date)?  Um, my guess is he's hoping the answer is "him."  

On another front, Heidi and Audrina talking is like watching Blonde Barbie and Brunette Barbie interact as choreographed by two four-year-olds voicing their lines.  

And Spencer in a hat is a look I hope never to see again.

That's the rewind.

p.s. ~ I missed parts of last season, but what happened to the dog Lauren and Lo bought?

 

Low-Toxic Product of the Week

In a previous post I mentioned that one of my goals is to develop a low-toxic skincare regime based largely on information compiled in the Environmental Working Group's cosmetics database. Our government does not regulate the ingredients that go into your daily skincare products (shampoos, lotions, makeup, etc.) ~ in other words, nobody's making sure that ingredients known to be carcinogenic or known to cause birth defects stay out of your products.

Instead, it seems like everyone is making sure that we want to use more and more products.   If I embraced my feminist instincts, I might think it's the man trying to keep women strapped in debt from purchasing too many things we don't need ~ in fact, purchasing things that are downright bad for us.

On a lighter note, I thought I would highlight a product each week I have found that ranks low on the toxic scale.  And, if you know my miserly ways, it probably ranks low on the cost scale, too.  

My cat Elsa also cares about using healthy products.  Our first recommendation is Burt's Bees Rosewater & Glycerin Toner.

It scored a "1" (low hazard) on a scale of 1 to 10 in the Cosmetics Database (10 being the most hazardous).

At about $12.00 per bottle (8 fl. oz.), on my 1 to 10 scale of cost 

(1 being a steal, 10 being outrageous), I would score this a "6."

The Conspiracy Against Me

Truly, the world has been waging war against me for the last thirty years (well, 29 years and 11 months).  Case in point no. 1:

I am now thoroughly convinced that between "Layers 101" and "Bangs 304," every stylist is required to take a course in "How to F Up A's Hair." 

How else can you explain the disaster that was made of my bangs last night?  I haven't been to a salon in ages because every time I go, I end up with someone taking unfounded liberties on my hair and more importantly I end up with an f'ed up hairdo.  

But in light of impending major life events, I finally sucked it up and went to a salon.  All I wanted was a simple Katie Holmes inspired bob with some bangs.  OK, admittedly the bob part is great.  But for the next 3 weeks I will be wearing the only headband (thankfully I have a Burberry number received years ago) and bobby pin I own in an effort to disguise the horror that would otherwise be dangling across my forehead.  And eating a lot of Jell-o.  I might even try to snag some prenatal vitamins from a co-worker.  Anything to make these bangs grow out as fast as possible.

And now I'm getting all worked up about case in point no. 2 to prove the world is against me: doctors.  Doctors who shove birth control pills and acne medicine down every 18 year old girl's throat and face.  Doctors who suggest eighteen other things they can help you with other than the reason you are actually there.  So I haven't been to the doctor in a long time.  Long enough to not even have a doctor.  That was one of my goals this year - to get back on track because it's probably a good idea to get checked out every decade or so.  Haven't gotten around to that one, either.  

    

The Meaning of Thirty Year War

I was driving home from my miserable job, thinking about turning 30, and wondering what the story of my life would be titled if it were written now.  In a flash, I thought "Thirty Year War."  What a perfect way to describe the trials and tribulations of the last thirty years of my life.  In fact, as I turned the pivotal 29 and began reflecting on my life in anticipation of the "Big 3-0," I made a list of not-quite-30 things I'd like to accomplish before I actually turn 30.  

Well, I wrote a little list, tucked it away in a box somewhere, and basically never looked at it over the last year.  I'm pretty sure I accomplished one thing - to buy a house - but I cheated. I added it to the list after it was clear it was going to  happen.

I thought I would explore the other goals I had in an effort to get back on track as I stare down the last month of my 20's and look toward my impending old age. (For what it's worth, despite any remarks about getting old, I am actually embracing my 30th birthday.  I am constantly told I look 14, which can be insulting to a professional woman, so I look forward to combating such attacks with revealing my real age.)

So, the 1st goal I am exploring: to acquire a non- or low-toxic beauty regime.  Read about the cosmetic industry in the Environmental Working Group's Cosmetic Database.  The government doesn't regulate what goes into the products we slather on our bodies every day - which means we all can be spreading cancer onto our cheekbones and hands on a daily basis.  The Cosmetics Database includes a slew of products and ranks them on a scale of 0 to 10 - 0 being the lowest toxicity and 10 being the highest.  It doesn't have every product, but it also goes through ingredients alone, so given enough down time, one could feasibly check out her own products.   

I've picked up a couple of things from the list over the year, but I'm still stuck on some products of questionable toxicity.  I've got a shopping list, though, of products I intend to find to get a low-toxic beauty regime.

God help me if this Database is all a rouse...

I'll update my progress in upcoming posts.

The Wrong Star

OK, so if you checked out my list of links to the right, you might have visited "cutewithchris.com" - a site for the crazy (yet sarcastic) cat lady in us all.  And if you read my first post, then you know my goal is to propel my cat Elsa into internet stardom.

As a sign of commitment to that objective, I sent in pictures of Elsa and her brother Bear to "cutewithchris.com."  Check out the September 9, 2008 post to see how successful I was.

I can't bear (ha, ha) to tell Elsa.  She's already thinking of leaving...